Tuesday, I think.
It’s definitely still “weekend”, as I’ve been sick since early Sunday morning. It crept up: all last week I was fine, up to and including Saturday night when J & I went to Sabbat for the first time in months. On the way to the club my back was hurting, kind of like a lactic acid buildup but there wasn’t enough pain to make it be more than a minor annoyance. Drank a rum&coke (okay, a cola-flavored glass of rum) and a Newcastle, but definitely didn’t overindulge. Home around 1 and awoke around 830 Sunday morning with a full-fledged cold that was morphing into something worse.
Met up with some friends for breakfast at Alchemy and tried to ignore it. By noon my plans of heading to Balboa Park for some quality painting time had evaporated into a case of “what in the hell is wrong with me”, and I shivered on the couch, bunched up under my Snuggie and watching the Travel Channel.
Of course the weather was lovely.
It was lovely yesterday and today as well, of course, so I’ve opened up a lot of drapes and windows to try and get things aired out in here. I’m a full believer in the power of fresh air and can’t stand to be relegated to one spot on the couch or in bed, surrounded by Kleenex and despair.
That’s right, I said it.
Kleenex and despair.
Yes, I felt kind of like that.
Anyway, only in the past few hours have I been able to regain some knowledge of what it feels like to be human. Even eating something more than a piece of fruit sounds possible. The house is kind of a wreck but cleaning up is happening slowly, because standing for more than a few minutes at a time is a challenge.
One of the few (only?) good things about being really and truly sick is that you learn to appreciate the little things. Like consciousness. Or being able to do the dishes. Or walking to your car without feeling like the sun is out to hurt you. Also, you learn that your body really doesn’t need a metric ton of food to survive, it’s cool to be minimalist, but whatever you put in there needs to be high quality and natural. Yes, the Little Debby Peanut Butter Snacky Crunch bars are DELICIOUS (she says, as she opens another pack), but if you’ve been ill your body is going to tolerate some fresh fruit way more than the #5 from McD’s.
Anyway, there’s not much I can do except come to terms with the fact that my body needs the rest. It doesn’t have to be moving all the time. It needs to heal up and when that happens, I will move forward from there. I will take it slowly. I look forward to remembering how good real food can actually be. I look forward to some mental clarity that will help me focus on some art & book projects, but more importantly my finances. I look forward to getting back on my yoga mat and back on the treadmill. I started up to the gym again (at least three times last week), and since J is out of town until Friday the plan was to get myself situated into going at least two hours after work. That is NOT happening right now, but maybe my sinuses will give me a break long enough to do a couple rounds of sun salutations.
Besides: there’s always savasana.