Midweek Infamy

First of all, I’ve been working on this post for at least three days, and that’s what happens when work gets in the way of life. πŸ˜‰


Can I get a fist pump, at least? Maybe an air-five? I’d do it for you.

This year marks what (to the best of my knowledge) is my sixteenth Internet Birthday. That means that roughly two hundred moons ago (oooh, moon math) I first heard everyone’s favorite static-y noise: boop beep boop boop beep boop boop beep beep beep boop brrrrrrrrRRRRRPPPPp eeeeeEEeeeeeep zzzzzsstt eep eep ding ding! Spell it how you like, but dial-up changed the face of technology. The best was when someone picked up the phone and disconnected you from your access, especially if you were on some late night chat marathon.

The Internet at that time was a big place, a much safer place. People were excited about the prospect of just talking to other people by clicking into a room and typing. We had “handles”, we had avatars, we had animated gifs of cartoon devils.

There were a lot of sites that used this.

We were UNSTOPPABLE (though we probably should have been stopped when we had the red text on the black background of flaming tiled skulls). Angelfire and Geocities unleashed a plethora of Writers and Poets, and don’t get me started on all the Usenet groups.

For fear of sounding even more like I’m asking you to get off my lawn, I’ll divert and ask that you bear with me. Those were the golden years of being online; years ripe with angsty poetry, too much eyeliner, and all the text files you could stand. You sent your words off into the ether with nary a thought or concern that they might come back to haunt you.

It wasn’t just before google was a verb, it was PRE-GOOGLE, for chrissakes. (Cool kids used Dogpile.)

It wasn’t as awesome as say… CHRIS DANE OWENS… but we tried.

One of my frequent e-hangouts was Chathouse.com. It was there that I made one of my first Internet Friends, an awesome Cajun guy: Dr. Ken. We talked daily, he helped me figure out what exactly that ‘src’ in ‘img src=’ meant, and eventually that led to me posting up horrible photos on horrible tiled backgrounds. It was the epitome of Awesome Web Design. If you really have nothing better to do, google ‘1999@usaor.net’ and get ready for some good laughs. There is precious little out there, but it’ll give you an idea of how things used to be.

Dr. Ken and I are still friends – we’ve lost touch now and again but we are still Facebook buddies. We’ve never met in person but I always hope to find myself a good Cajun dentist. He once sent me a king cake and a little Mardi Gras care package. Before him my first friend-I’d-never-met was a German pen pal named Daniella Meineke. I can’t recall how we ended up becoming pen pals, but it was a genuine exchange of words on paper. We kept in touch through most of the 90’s but then dropped off. I hope she’s doing well.

You probably didn’t come here expecting to sit around the cyber fire, listening to me spin yarns from this rocking chair. It doesn’t really rock, FYI. You found me caught off guard, because (and I said all the above to say this) I’ve been online a long time, but writing even longer. Paper journals, diaries, poetry submitted, contests entered, newsgroups joined, e-newsletters sent betwixt (ooh!) my schoolmates and college colleagues (which turned into online journals and joint blogs)… all of that, and I’ve always wanted someone to notice my writing. There, I said it, despite this terrible fear of sounding presumptuous.

You know how the Internet is – it doesn’t care. It doesn’t want you to put yourself out there, because you will get chewed up and spit out and stepped on. For all of that though, I have just wanted someone to read my writing and get the same feeling *I* get when reading something good. Something memorable, worthy of bookmarking or even RSS-ing. To think somebody would subscribe to the madness that comes out of my head is just …I don’t know. You guys don’t know this, but I have three novels sitting in various formats on various hard drives, and that means they’re not getting written. Partially out of lack of information, partially lack of caring to *find* information, and partially fear of rejection.

Do you remember Vox? When Livejournal was starting to grow into less of a community and more of a big pain in the butt, Vox was my go to. For some reason the flow of words came easier – my epic posts were small novels, and stupidly I forgot to export my data when it got shut down. Bummer. Anyway, *this* blog has been around since early 2006 (maybe even a smidge before that), and for such a long time I wanted it to fit into a certain box or label. Now I realize it doesn’t, and it seems to be flowing better. My posts (when left unchecked) can get pretty lengthy, but the same holds true for my emails and ‘quick notes’ to people. There are a lot of words.

Since my rediscovery of how awesome WordPress is, I try to write as often as possible, but get sidetracked by things like life and work. Health gets in the way. Lack of a computer gets in the way. I own a Droid but sure ain’t writin’ 1500 word posts on it. So you see how it goes. Some days my thought process only allows for just enough energy to get me out of bed, through work, and back home to bed. Things are a bit weird with me, but I’m still around.

Okay. With ALL of that being said, I was super-ultra-mega-mega delighted to see that anybody nominated me for *anything*, because the days of communal fun on LJ are long since past. A new awesome blogger I’ve just discovered, Miss Cristy from Paltry Meanderings of a Taller Than Average Woman was sweet enough to nom(nom nom)inate me for The Versatile Blogger Award. Woot! She put it well: As with the 7Γ—7, these awards are essentially the chain letters of the blogging award industry. Still, I never win anything. Even my husband dissuades me from buying lottery tickets because my luck is abysmal. So, secretly, I’m thrilled. πŸ˜‰


It's a major award!!


1) Add the Versatile Blogger Award to your post. Done

2) Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog. Done

3) Share 7 completely random pieces of information about myself. Done

4) Include this set of rules in your post. Done

5) Nominate 10 fellow bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award in this post. Done

6) Notify each of the nominees by posting a comment on each of their blogs. Done (after I publish this post)

—-since you asked—-
Seven completely random pieces of info about myself. Hmmm. Well, I already talked quite a bit, so you’ll get some randomness, that’s for sure.

a) I moved to San Diego from Pennsylvania on August 19, 2001, and managed to have crazy times in Tijuana that first year WITHOUT going to TJ Jail. Awwww snap!

b) It really really really really really REALLY pisses me off when people date someone, get into honeymoon phase, and promptly forget about their other social obligations and/or friendships.

3) I want to have my work displayed in Juxtapoz before I’m 35. It would be nice if the ideas I had stuck in my head long enough for me to put them down on paper.

d) I have a tough time finishing things I star— ooh, look! A goldfish!

cinco) There was a point in life where I was fluent in both German and Spanish, but not both at the same time.

6) I recently lost my best friend to religion. We still talk a little via Facebook/text, something for which I am very thankful, but there is a lot going on and we can’t hang out anytime soon. Maybe not for years. It’s really painful.

L) People often tell me they don’t realize how short I am until they’re standing right next to me, and I’m in flip flops/tennis shoes/bare feet.

—-Nominate ten peeps in no particular order—-
Ivonne, aka Beans&Ink. Mexi-mama, snarky, awesome. She takes amazing photos, amazing enough that she did wonders with my own wedding photos. She’s one of those artsy people who I’ve known for …ever, and she’s wonderful. Very inspirational. Sandy Eggo local, recent Philly transplant.

Anne Soffee, aka Parental Rites. Ex bellydancer, supermom, great writer, good peep. I don’t know her IRL – only through Livejournal – but wish I did. Her child (and family) are the stuff of legend.

Morgan, aka Morgan Writes. My lovely crazy wonderous imaginative storyteller friend. A lot of me is her fault. πŸ™‚ Sandy Eggo local, not-so-recent San Fran-then-Seattlite (not satellite).

Denice, aka Our Daily Feed. A client-turned-friend, she came into my office one day and just wouldn’t leave. It was awesome! Nutritionisty-sciency-girl, follow her and change your life for the better. Not only can she cook, she can write, too. Sandy Eggo local.

Meredith, aka MeredithElaine. This broad is what we call “outgoing”, the good kind of crazy, and overall a very nice person that makes good words. Just put a mic in front of her and she’ll explain it all. I love Meric. πŸ™‚ Sandy Eggo barhopping local. πŸ™‚

Eric, aka That Guy With Some Shit To Say. No, for real, he does have some shit to say. Read it! Other half of Sandy Eggo local Meredith.

Alle, aka Alle Malice’s Special Feelings. Eye candy that knows how to write? Count me in. This one is worth it to add to the list, and here are some nice keywords to suck you in: Australian, medical textbooks, AbFab, Paris, glitter, unicorns. GO NOW. Someone newer I’ve found via Ivonne’s blogosphere.

Cristy, aka Paltry Meanderings of a Taller Than Average Woman. This is my new addiction. If you’ve found me through her, you already know. And if you don’t know, get going! Super new blogosphere find.

Stacie, aka Gemini Girl in a Random World. I like people that can write, especially if they’re talking a little smack to Mr. Wynn. Plus she’s a big fan of Rajinkanth, and that gives me hope. πŸ˜‰ Haha! Super new blogosphere find.

Allie, aka Hyperbole and a Half. This is the original blog of win. Do you like grammar, babbling, MS Paint, and a nice dose of THE FUNNIEST BLOG IN EXISTENCE? I’m pretty sure you do (or should), and that means you need to go over there right now. If you don’t already know about it, you’re a loser. So there. I hope wolves get you. Oldschool blogosphere find.

Thanks, you guys. πŸ™‚ I feel special.

Very special. Special enough to wear my Superhero Mask that might have been cut out of a greeting card.


Lines, Cheese, and A Little Extra Fabulous

Let’s go over this again.

When you’re in a line, there is what some of us like to call “The Line Rule”. It’s generally called “personal space” or “your bubble”. The ideal line looks like this (but with…you know, more dimension):

Look, A Line

A typical line also looks like this:

Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t there some kind of unspoken rule? A two foot rule? I’m not talking about lines at amusement parks, the anomalies of complacent parents and children whose blood has turned entirely into Kool-Aid. I’m also not talking about The Six Foot Rule (see: San Diego Municipal Code Chapter 3, Article 3, Β§33.2808, item C), because this isn’t the time to bring up the not-so-seedy underbelly of SD nightlife. That’s a different story altogether. Anyway, remember the next time you’re in a line, leave about two feet of space between you and the person in front of you. Do not:

A) crowd them to ask the cashier a question like “Hey, do you still have any Ultra Super Mega Bold Roast left?”
B) crowd them to ask the cashier if they can get change for a twenty because the drawer is still open – and not apologize for crowding.
C) touch them.
D) touch them without apologizing (yes, we know it’s crowded and you might bump into someone. give a quick ‘sorry’.)
E) take things from them.
F) sniff their hair.

These are just sort of general rules that what we call “A Logical Person” would do. Feel free to write it down and/or pass it on.

That said, things here at the homestead have been interesting. J’s leg is finally showing some bone growth, he’s got ghosting calciumitis or whatever you want to call it when the healing starts.

It's made of calcium!

He’s all excited because this means the brace and wrappings can come off and his leg can finally get washed. After four weeks. Mmm, just imagine the smell. It’s like a horrible ripe cheese of cheesy death. That’s kind of a bummer because cheese is AWESOME.

That reminds me, I was invited to a CheeseAhPohlooza next Sunday. A friend of mine last year decided to throw a cheese party at her new place: “Last year’s party brought in about 87 different types of cheeses and over a hundred people throughout the day. It was glorious. “ In lieu of trying to get back to being more social (vertigo doesn’t care if you have friends or responsibilities), I’m going to try and get over to it.

I’m still struggling with inner ear issues. It’s horrible but getting better, and when it’s too bad I take Valium. The only good thing about Valium is the vivid and insane dreams that ensue, and that reminds me I need to start keeping a dream journal. At the very least I need something next to the bed; scrap paper to reminisce on. This morning’s dream had some dark twists and helped me get the background idea for the next Doktor Von Bunn idea.

This year has some serious social potential, speaking of, and all of it is at least mildly if not overwhelmingly exciting. After the delightfully OCD event that was taking my measurements, (39-36-39), J has ordered up a nice new harness for me, AWWW YEAH.

Clockwork Couture underbust harness

Last week I researched how to make a mini hat, but this one isn’t one that my lax skills are up to quite yet. It may indeed be less expensive (definitely less frustrating) to just buy it. Besides: LOOK AT IT. Uh, amazing.


In other news I watched RuPaul’s Drag Race and now want to don a wig and fancy makeup just to go to the store. The part where I watched “What Not To Wear” right before that probably didn’t help much, because now I *DEFINITELY* want to don a wig and fancy makeup.

The higher the hair, right? πŸ˜‰

OH. I just saw that Miss Sharon Needles is a contestant and is from Pittsburgh. She’s right in the age range for some of my crazy-ass friends to know her IRL, so they best speak up. This is some fantastic madness.