Lines, Cheese, and A Little Extra Fabulous

Let’s go over this again.

When you’re in a line, there is what some of us like to call “The Line Rule”. It’s generally called “personal space” or “your bubble”. The ideal line looks like this (but with…you know, more dimension):

Look, A Line

A typical line also looks like this:

Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t there some kind of unspoken rule? A two foot rule? I’m not talking about lines at amusement parks, the anomalies of complacent parents and children whose blood has turned entirely into Kool-Aid. I’m also not talking about The Six Foot Rule (see: San Diego Municipal Code Chapter 3, Article 3, ยง33.2808, item C), because this isn’t the time to bring up the not-so-seedy underbelly of SD nightlife. That’s a different story altogether. Anyway, remember the next time you’re in a line, leave about two feet of space between you and the person in front of you. Do not:

A) crowd them to ask the cashier a question like “Hey, do you still have any Ultra Super Mega Bold Roast left?”
B) crowd them to ask the cashier if they can get change for a twenty because the drawer is still open – and not apologize for crowding.
C) touch them.
D) touch them without apologizing (yes, we know it’s crowded and you might bump into someone. give a quick ‘sorry’.)
E) take things from them.
F) sniff their hair.

These are just sort of general rules that what we call “A Logical Person” would do. Feel free to write it down and/or pass it on.

That said, things here at the homestead have been interesting. J’s leg is finally showing some bone growth, he’s got ghosting calciumitis or whatever you want to call it when the healing starts.

It's made of calcium!

He’s all excited because this means the brace and wrappings can come off and his leg can finally get washed. After four weeks. Mmm, just imagine the smell. It’s like a horrible ripe cheese of cheesy death. That’s kind of a bummer because cheese is AWESOME.

That reminds me, I was invited to a CheeseAhPohlooza next Sunday. A friend of mine last year decided to throw a cheese party at her new place: “Last year’s party brought in about 87 different types of cheeses and over a hundred people throughout the day. It was glorious. “ In lieu of trying to get back to being more social (vertigo doesn’t care if you have friends or responsibilities), I’m going to try and get over to it.

I’m still struggling with inner ear issues. It’s horrible but getting better, and when it’s too bad I take Valium. The only good thing about Valium is the vivid and insane dreams that ensue, and that reminds me I need to start keeping a dream journal. At the very least I need something next to the bed; scrap paper to reminisce on. This morning’s dream had some dark twists and helped me get the background idea for the next Doktor Von Bunn idea.

This year has some serious social potential, speaking of, and all of it is at least mildly if not overwhelmingly exciting. After the delightfully OCD event that was taking my measurements, (39-36-39), J has ordered up a nice new harness for me, AWWW YEAH.

Clockwork Couture underbust harness

Last week I researched how to make a mini hat, but this one isn’t one that my lax skills are up to quite yet. It may indeed be less expensive (definitely less frustrating) to just buy it. Besides: LOOK AT IT. Uh, amazing.

Fascinat...ing!

In other news I watched RuPaul’s Drag Race and now want to don a wig and fancy makeup just to go to the store. The part where I watched “What Not To Wear” right before that probably didn’t help much, because now I *DEFINITELY* want to don a wig and fancy makeup.

The higher the hair, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

OH. I just saw that Miss Sharon Needles is a contestant and is from Pittsburgh. She’s right in the age range for some of my crazy-ass friends to know her IRL, so they best speak up. This is some fantastic madness.

Yummy!

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It’s A Nice Day For A …Trip To The Fabric Store?

It’s a typical San Diego Sunday: mid-70’s, light breeze, strains of music floating through the neighborhood. The curtains are all drawn back and the house is getting a nice airing out. There’s been a light winter cleaning – sorted out a drawer of canned goods, cleaned off the random debris on top of the fridge (so THAT’S where my hummingbird feeder nectar went to!), and started laundry. I’m taking a little break to write before heading out to the dollar store for hairspray, which will hopefully aid me in my attempt to do a fauxhawk.

My hair is a bit long, but I’m hoping to achieve something like this:

Also, I found THE BEST volume hair tip ever (for real). Go check out the video, and watch the whole thing. I’m sure it helps if you have a flat iron, but my house is very product-and-accessory free, so … yeah. Dollar store it is.

So, the fabric store.

My wonderful lovely creative fabulous friend Morgan is getting MAWWIED in September, oh-em-gee, and she’s been sweet enough to send an invite to Casa de Awesome. (Yes, that’s my house’s name.) It’ll be in Seattle, a place I’ve always wanted to go – ceremony at an old gas works and reception at a yat club. Some people say yacht, some say yat, and that’s what we’re calling it right now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Look how cute their wedding site is! Matt & LindsayMorgan

Since the two of us here have been getting more involved and interested in steampunk lately, it seemed like the perfect occasion to acquire some apparel in that genre. So began The Great Outfit Search.

First of all, the stuff is not cheap. It’s not cheap because it’s all custom made, and generally of good quality. As are most discussions (surprisingly and thankfully) – most fans of the genre tend to be well spoken and well read. It’s a nice change if you want to give your brain a break from YouTube or ICanHasCheezburger comments.

The thing about it is that a lot of people do tend to just “glue some gears on it and call it SteamPunk”, myself being one of them. Yes, some people say if the gears/buckles/bells and whistles aren’t functional then it’s all for naught, but you can’t deny the aesthetic appeal.

Here’s an example.

Plain Black Arm Cuff

Steampunk Arm Cuff:

See? Just glue some gears on it. And if anybody wants to track down the manufacturer of that second cuff and then PURCHASE the cuff for me I’d be much obliged. I bet you dollars to donuts (best phrase ever) that it’s at least a hundred bucks if it’s hand-tooled or anything.

We got to talking here at The Casa, and J feels that he’s capable of sewing things. Maybe even clothes. After picking both my eyebrows off the ceiling, we talked about local fabric stores and how I want to make my own mini cocktail top hat instead of paying $150 for the one that caught my eye. So after breakfast, he crutched on over to the local Discount Fabric Store where we looked at all the awesome items. I spent most of last night looking for a hat pattern/tutorial, and he spent most of yesterday looking for a vest pattern. It was fun.

Anyway, we have the beginnings of a sewing kit, and an old holiday popcorn gallon tin is where the excess fabric will go for now. I think we can pull something off.

I’m not sure who this new crafty person is that’s living with me, but I like him.