It’s 730 in the morning. In spite of several things, I am awake and blogging, having already moved my car and made a nice cup of tea.
The interesting thing is that I was hoping to get up early to accomplish some things, but opted out of those things in favor of staying in my nice warm bed, attempting to minimize the hurt. The alarm was originally set for 745, and due to back pain (plus yesterday’s trip to the gym), staying in bed would have been very nice. However, my thoughtful neighbor has made the choice for me. Thanks buddy!
I call you bro now, not in affection, but in reference to the many dialogues between you and our downstairs neighbors. Perhaps none of you realize that my bedroom window is right here, and opted to shout your conversations from your respective doorsteps instead of just chatting in each others’ living rooms. It doesn’t help that these conversations were going on between people on different levels.
Anyway. We did indeed hear you loudly verbalizing this morning at the crisp hour of 630 to an unknown party. I like to pretend you weren’t actually speaking to a real person; it makes things much more festive. Saying things like you don’t give a shit about being loud because you’re out on the corner, led me to believe you truly had no concern for the welfare and rest of your neighbors in close proximity. Items you’d previously yelled, such as, “I used to live here! Can I stand out on my porch and yell now? Come arrest me!!” helped me in that decision.
I have one thing to say to this, bro: It’s no one’s fault but your own. I know you’re trying to promote world peace through frisbee, and I know you think you’re Jesus Christ reincarnated, but all the karaoke and the screaming and the general public disturbance….. well…… what did you think would happen? Come on now. Take it like a man.
On a lighter note, wherever your travels may take you, you may find yourself wondering how you can get evicted again. Here are a few reasons you may not have thought of, courtesy of Useless-Knowledge.com. I’m only going to post the numbered portions, it’s actually a very entertaining article that I recommend for all readers. You even learn how to get free movers! Check out these seven easy tips:
1. Don’t pay the rent! This is a classic method […]
2. Play your music too loud at night! Okay, whether it’s your JVC 1200 […]
3. Start throwing your garbage out the window! Okay, this works great, […]
4. Start a fake drug lab! Okay, landlords hate the thought […]
5. Open up a punk rock club! This is easy […]
6. Tear up your floor and start a garden! Sounds complicated, but […]
7. Buy a goat, a sheep, a pig, and two roosters! […]
Other classy methods are listed at the San Francisco Foghorn; these include rain dancing and opening up a daycare/zoo in the form of Big Brothers/Sisters and the Walk-a-Pet program.
Something else (reminscent of Carrie) is listed over at Gothamist. That one is kind of foul, but could make for some entertaining results.
The list could go on (and please, readers, feel free to comment with your own suggestions), but the time is drawing near where I must begin to get ready for work. Not to mention today’s goal involved cleaning out my car (YES REALLY), and possibly taking a quick boardwalk bike ride. Work has had an interesting tension factor lately, so the ocean breeze helps to clear my head and calm me down.
Do I feel bad that he is getting evicted? That’s a very mixed answer. If he doesn’t have a backup plan and has to live out of his car, yes, I have a bit of a bleeding heart for things like that. I have lived in my car before. It’s not fun. It downright sucks. However my car is larger than his, so it sucked a little less – not to mention that he did bring this on himself. I’m hoping the new tenants will be more peaceful, and I’m hoping he learns from this experience. If he doesn’t have a backup plan… well…. San Diego isn’t the worst place to be homeless in. Besides, he’s supposed to be an A-Number-One Sales Guy, so I’m sure he can figure out something.
A few last words, Frisbee Boy… I only have to be up early on Fridays, so feel free to keep the ramblings to a minimum. Also, D’fabulous will be staying with me next weekend, so you may want to save some truly wacky hijinks until then. But if you wake us up from our margarita slumber, it’s war.