Hunger Games: Parking Lot Version

You’ve probably been to a store recently, or some place that involves a parking lot. Have you seen a parking lot before? The kind with lines? Of course you have. Here’s a photo to help jog your memory.

This evening required a quick trip over to the local Best Buy, which (crazily enough) has a very similar parking lot to the one in the photo above. The photo below is basically what it looked like when I got there. Cars were lined up all neatly, in even little efficient rows with everyone parked evenly next to each other.

And then, there was this.

It’s a nice car.

It was in one of the first spots closest to the store.

They did SO WELL at parking that I think everyone needs to know; click it!

See the tail edge of that white line in the shot on the left? Yes, that person parked juuuuust perfectly enough in between the two spots, perfectly over the line, perfectly obnoxiously. I know – and have seen – people who will spit on their driver’s side window AND door handle for that sort of thing. It wasn’t me, because spitting is gross, but I’ve seen it done.

I have a question for you, Mercedes Benz of Anaheim
: how much extra did your customer pay for their DOUBLE PARKING PERMIT?? HMMM?!?! BECAUSE THEY’RE DOUBLE PARKED. LIKE A JERK. Maybe you could advise your future customers (or returning customers, or everyone, really) to not do that. They wanted to advertise how great you were with that nice license plate cover, so I thought you should know.

At the time of taking that photo I was furious enough to want to stand and wait for the owner of the vehicle, just to ask them WHY they felt the need to park that way. Do you see the cars in the background? Do you see how THEY are parked? I took a deep breath and left, but still. Look, I get that people all want to be individuals and follow their dream and be self-righteous jerks*unique snowflakes, but come on now. I actually drove away, fuming, and then came back to take the photo. That’s because part of me actually wanted to key my question (Y U NO PARK PROPERLY) into their shiny new paint job, but then logic dictates that “vandalism” isn’t generally accepted in society, so I opted to do something a little more fun… like tell the internet.

Please, people. Spread the word. Car dealerships, let your customers know: DON’T DOUBLE PARK. If you double park, you make people angry, and angry people aren’t always rational. Law enforcement officers: yes, I am angry, but because I do not want to go to jail (ever), one of my personal rules is to not do anything like bash in a window or key a car or slash a tire. For the record, yes, I will angrily post online but that’s as far as it goes. Other angry irrational people (who are not me) might do something worse.

People parking in places they shouldn’t are on a special list of mine. It makes me very upset, and you know why? Because if I or any of my friends tried to pull that, we would get towed. At the very least, we’d get a ticket. It’s not because of the kinds of cars we drive, because I have friends that own Maseratis, Jaguars, Cadillacs, BMWs, Benz, etc. It’s because my friends don’t have the sense of entitlement that overwhelms their sense of logic.

You know when you go to a business and certain spots say “Reserved” or “Patient Parking” or “Staff Only” or “Commercial Loading”? Well, for the general public, those parking spots are not where you are supposed to park. You park there if you work there, if you are a patient there, if you’re Employee of the Freaking Month at a mortgage company and that’s the spot you won because you closed more loans than anyone for the month of whatever. You don’t park there because you don’t feel like looking for another spot.

Sometimes the parking indicators are on the ground. At my office, there are eight metal signs that stick up about four feet out of the ground (right about eye level when you’re seated in a vehicle that pulls in to a space). These signs say in big bold letters: STAFF PARKING. We all have our own parking spots. What makes me want to smash their windshield is when I go away to lunch for 30 minutes, come back, and despite ALLLL the other spots open in nearby rows (no seriously like twenty spots), someone who is NOT STAFF has parked in my spot. I can’t explain how furious it makes me, but there is very little that gets me very mad very quickly quite the way that stuff does.

Why? Why do you do this? When I park somewhere that I’ve never been (for example, last week to Wine Steals at Liberty Station, whose parking situation is VERY minimal during busy times, check out Google Maps), please believe the first thing on my ‘leaving the car’ checklist is make sure that it’s okay to park wherever. Is there a sign at the entrance to the lot? Are the spaces numbered but there’s no box to pay? Do some of the spots have cement bumpers and some don’t? Is there a sign ANYWHERE in the lot that designates times that it’s not okay to park there? Why is it that not everyone cares about this sort of thing? It doesn’t matter if you can afford to get your car out of impound, or afford to just say “oh well” and buy a new one. It just makes you a jerkface if you don’t do this.

PEOPLE. PLEASE. PAY. ATTENTION. It takes no extra time and you won’t accidentally make someone angry because of your actions. I don’t care how much you paid for your car, I don’t care if you’re driving a limo or a HOVERCRAFT. If you don’t park properly and it’s not an emergency, I hate you. [For the record: my trip into Best Buy took about half an hour. That car was there upon my arrival and also upon my departure, so if there was an emergency it probably involved a lengthy discussion about if they should get the 60″ or the 72″ LCD panel TV for their outdoor kitchen because it might interfere with the view of the fountain and not quite tie the area together. In other words, there was no emergency.]


*I keep using the word jerk/jerks because every time I search for another descriptive phrase it’s got a lot of um, curse-insertion. Colorful language, you might say.


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