On Paper

My home computer finally crashed, and it seems pretty certain that all data on it has been wiped out. Including a recently gifted zip file with a bunch of new music that had not yet made it onto my iPod, which is exactly the way things should have happened. J is letting me borrow his laptop (mostly because I wanted to play WoW and the Sims), which is cool, although it’s not the same as having my own computer and I know he doesn’t really like me using it. I can’t blame him. I don’t like people using my computer(s) either.

In other news: maybe this is jinxing things, but the labyrinthitis appears to have subsided. The symptoms are almost entirely gone, so I’ve been slowly trying to get back to working on my fitness and my health in general.

Between the computer, the health, this that and the other, I’ve been reading and working on my art. Thank goodness for e-books, even though there are some local libraries that have been seeing a lot more of me lately. Did you know you can check out up to forty books at once? Forty. 40, four-oh. That’s like five trips to the car, but you get three weeks to read, so… yeah.

Mostly I’ve been getting art books, stuff on how to improve my techniques. I’ve been picking up books from the kids’ section, books from the fiction/art section. It’s a little strange to be in the kids’ section but the creativity factor goes way up. You just have to not have that creepy look.

Also, it’s Banned Books week, which reminds me that I can’t recall if I’ve ever actually read Catcher In The Rye or not.

I took a class that I didn’t realize would be only digital illustration, but it was, and it wasn’t too bad. I’ve been starting to ask around about maybe possibly someday showing my work, but it’s hard when you hate most stuff you do. A lot of the recent art has come from this massive sense of depression – the work flows out like blood because otherwise there’s too much pressure in my brain. It makes me more depressed when it doesn’t come out how it looks in my mind, or doesn’t come out at all. It’s hard, but as I immerse myself in the art world it’s sort of a double-edged sword: you expose yourself and learn more, but you also realize how far you have to go.

And that’s probably why I slept from 11PM last night to 3PM this afternoon.


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