Of Hurricanes and Graphite

My social networks are a huge conglomeration of everyone I’ve ever met, and some I haven’t. Primarily it’s a West Coast feed, as most East Coast people I – for some unknown reason – have kept on to pseudo relate with. Excluding a select handful, any East Coast peeps still in my periphery are there for entertainment value or to remind me of how far I’ve come. The majority of their feeds are hidden from my daily view not just because of terrible grammar but because of their extreme lack of giving a fuck.

LIEK, OMG! SOMETHING! IS! IMPORTANT!!!!

I don’t care about your new purse. I don’t care about your drama. I do care about why you’re still a waitress (not a manager) at the same diner you worked at 15 years ago, and why you’re going on 30 with your priorities being more “Which club should I go to next and what bus will still run after 11pm” instead of “Will I ever get a driver’s license” or “Will I ever move out of my mom’s house”.

Their feeds are hidden because of stuff like this, copied verbatim (edited for names/addresses):

——————————

“It cud always b worst.”

“I’m face book how lol comment me back”

“Lol!!! A drunk aint shit”

“Ok cuzzo…squad up….lol…”

“Is blessed…bout to start my Sunday Din din…sauteed in C.Of.M. bone/skinless chkn breast..mac and cheese..green beans…stuffing and yams..yummy:)!!”

“Im gna say this once!! ANYONE WHO WANTS TO SAY SMTG ABOUT ME OR WANTS TO KEEP LYN TO PPL ABOUT ME U CAN CALL ME OR SEE ME IT GOES FOR EVERYONE!! DONT BITCH UP NOW BITCHES…”

“Hey its me XXXXX’s niece i had to log on for him but i wanted to put the word out on his profile for everone he said if anyones waiting or trying to get in touch with him can write him at THIS ADDRESS XXXXX XXXXX ###### Depart of corrections Green Rock Correctional Center [edited address]”

“Yoo….to all my yurp squad n yace squad members we will be performing at the XXXX XXX in the city in july….hit me up or XXXX n let us know if u tryna perform…..”

“Now its time to take care of me!! Not everyone else excpt my kids.. So every one else can kick rocks and fuck off!!!”

“just lettn it be known to certain ppl… im actn up today!!! Past week…lol”

“Its not what we do that defines us, but how we rise above every situtation tht may be thrown are way!!!!!”

“dont blame me for what u cant acheive im jus me and do me ill slap a b*****””

“I’m 30… N still sh*tin on u! I am me… Lol somethin u’ll never b so hate on haters! ;D” (Seriously, that is the title of one of her photo albums. All bathroom mirror angle shots.)

“MY HATERS ARE MY MOTIVATION. YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU WANNA SAY ABOUT ME BUT ONE THING THAT YOU CANT SAY IS THAT IM A BAD MOM. BEEN DOING IT FOR ALMOST NINE YEARS NOW AND MINES DOESNT WANT OR NEED FOR A DAMN THING. SHE WILL HAVE BY ANY MEANS. BELIEVE THAT. SO GET YOUR INFO STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU TRY AND TALK ABOUT ONE OF THE WORLDS GREATEST MOTHERS. PEACE AND BLESSINGS HATERS”

“FUCK ALL OF YOU HATIN ASS BITCHES AND NIGGAS. NOW RUN TELL THAT”

“washing clothes today and spending time w/ donna i enjoy coming up here its relaxing….cant wait to go to grams tonight and spend time w/ my family miss u dad and sissy hope u guys are doing well…”

“on our way to gram and paps for dinner our favorite day of the week sure wish u were there mama. on our way to stop and see u at the cemetary love u our angel”

“JESUS IS ALWAYS A FRIEND FOREVER, ITS THOSE DEVIL FRIENDS WHO WILL KILL YOU AND FORSAKE YOU…JESUS COMFORT FEELS IN FOR HUMAN ABANDONMENT….JESUS”

“Each & Every Saturdays ALL NEW! #1 SPOT CLUB BABE’LON A.T.L (MNL) & DEM RADIO BOYZ OF THE JUICE WILL BE IN THE BUILDING HOSTED BY: JROC & KAJ BOOGIE (NO SWEATS NO TEES 1$ SHOTS FREE DRINKS @12 IN VIP FOR LADIES VIP IS AVAILABLE! *POWER HOUR 1030-1130 DON’T BE LEFT OUT FOR VIP SATURDAYS!”

——————————

Anyway. The short version is that A) Facebook is turning into Myspace and B) reading all that hurt my brain. If you’re updating your status via phone, just take a minute to give a shit, that’s all. It’s not hard.

Before that rant, the point I wanted to say is that all my East Coast peeps are up in arms about the hurricane a-comin’ and I’m having a really hard time even considering telling people (individually) to stay safe, because it’s 90 degrees in my house and I’ve been sick for like, a month.

Growing up, storms – mild and bad – were a part of life. You batten down the hatches, you put things away, you have your flashlights in working order, and you sit on the porch to watch the storm roll in. When it’s rolled close enough thankyouverymuch, you head inside. If it’s really bad, you head down to the fruit cellar. You wait, you read, you go to bed when the last hint of daylight goes away. You get through it. Trees fall, basements flood, roofs get torn off. Glass breaks. It’s scary – for real – but it stops eventually. There’s something to be said for the smell of rain, before and after a storm.

Not saying that people shouldn’t prepare, or be cautious, or worried. They should do and be all of those things. But I don’t have the mental energy right now to do what so many others are doing and start the whole “OMG BE SAFE BE CAREFUL” on everyone’s Facebook or Twitter or where have you. I’m just drained. The media is playing up all the fear. So if everyone could just take a step back and realize that they don’t need to start a riot, that would be nice.

Consider this your mass “Hope you guys get through it alright and there is little to no damage. Best of luck.” post.

Speaking of getting through it, my illness relapsed today, which was lame. That whole no sugar or alcohol thing is tougher than I thought, because a beer sounds AWESOME right now.

Actually, Oreos with a glass of cold milk sounds even MORE awesome, so there’s that.

Then I found Oreo Cupcakes With Built In Milk Cups and almost died.

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