Visual Resume

1981 Born (the important part).

1982

1983 Started reading.

1984 Finished reading.

1985

1986 Naps were an integral part of my life.

1987

1988 1st grade. Decided I wanted to be an artist when I grew up… or a bus driver. Failing that, a dentist.

1989 2nd grade. Won an Actual Trophy for an art contest.

1990 3rd grade. Attempted bike riding, fell down a lot, decided to put that on hiatus.

1991 4th grade. Chicken pox.

1992 5th grade. Finally mastered bike riding. Played Oregon Trail, died from dystentery. Did okay with hunting though.

1993 6th grade. Discovered swearing and sarcasm.

1994 7th grade. First roller coaster ride – the Raptor at Cedar Point.

1995 8th grade. Failure at math began with an intense boredom in Algebra class. Learned to swim. Joined the color guard/flag girls (not due to swimming achievement).

1996 9th grade. Upgraded from color guard to clarinet player. Enjoyed that more except for the wool uniforms during Pennsylvania summers. Started my first job (cashier at Wendy’s). Met the Internet.

1997 10th grade. My first trip to N’awlins (with my church group). Habitat for Humanity projects are less fun during August’s humidity. Learned to ice skate. Met Jason.

1998 11th grade. Fell off my bike again and busted my knee up pretty good. Also spent a lot of time with this program called Photoshop and another thing called Angelfire.

1999 Graduated from high school. Showed up every day and received a piece of paper saying I showed up every day. Received another piece of paper saying I did pretty good.

1999 [July] Began courses in Graphic Design at PTI. Moved on from Angelfire to my very own server.

1999 [October] Tried to deal with the death of one of my closest friends at PTI.

2000 [January] Switched to Multimedia (still taking a few Graphics courses but main focus on Multimedia).

2000 [May] Learned that it takes quite a long time to render a lawn in 3D Studio Max. Worked on various animations, sketches, models, and pointless Director projects while waiting for render to complete.

2000 [October] Lawn finishes rendering.

2001 [March] Clinically diagnosed as ‘bipolar’. Refuse Lithium and Zoloft, opt for chocolate.

2001 [May] Began an official long-distance relationship with the aforementioned Jason.

2001 [July] Graduated from PTI. Showed up every day and received a piece of paper saying I showed up every day. Second piece of paper confirmed that I could get hired somewhere at some job that wanted me to have an Associates Degree in a Related Field. Had another close friend pass away.

2001 [August] Moved to Mission Valley (Central/Coastal San Diego), and began cohabitation with Jason.

2001 [September] That thing with the planes and the buildings and the awful. Purchased Brak.

2002 [January] Blur of my 21st birthday. Discovered webcams, guns and the joys of the Mojave Desert. Vegas was in there somewhere too.

2002 [February] Was told that I too could join the thousands of other successful home-based businesses that thrived online (yes, web malls, like a knockoff Amazon versus a swap meet) by making Just One Sale per month, and believed it.

2002 [March] Went back to visit PA and remembered the joy of being trapped in a blizzard; unfortunately not the kind you can buy at Dairy Queen.

2002 [June] Got a bartender’s license and did so for several years at various awful places. Entered a lot of non-serious online art contests, mostly put on by friends or forums. Rediscovered my love of Photoshop and writing, which was now referred to as ‘blogging’. Attempted to make and sell websites to tattoo parlors, clubs and bars around town. Websites completed: three. Websites completed with payment: one. Payment for full website consisted of $600 and a tongue piercing.

2002 [August] Still no sales with the home business. Hired at V. International as An Actual Graphic Designer. Made products they said would be in Hot Topic, Torrid, et cetera. Got screamed at a lot by my boss when I would ask about production, specs, shipping, or anything that questioned the growing shadiness of the company. Last day was when I came in to our new shop to find he’d thrown all my files/filing cabinets and part of my computer over a staircase. Apparently I hadn’t “re-organized everything properly”, so he wanted to give me a hand. After that they wanted me to freelance from home but surprisingly never called me back. [REALLY AWESOME 2012 EDIT: I *knew* he was shady!!  He got sued! By the Marley family! So awesome!! I hope the Marleys got all their cash, Leo was a crazy jerk.]

2002 [December] Still no sales with the home business. Still no contact with their customer service as to why my site was no longer functioning, yet they were charging me $100 a month ($20 of which was a ‘customer service fee’).

2003 [February] Tijuana is scary.

2003 [March] Win seventeen bucks at nickel Keno and watch a chicken beat people at tic-tac-toe, all in fabulous La…ughlin, Nevada. Buy a Sah-WEEEEEEEEET 1965 Mustang (which sadly cost way more than seventeen bucks).

2003 [April] Discovery of the awful land of telemarketing. Hated door-to-door sales even more (if that’s possible). During a door-to-door outing, discovered Recycler Photo Classifieds and that I was good at telemarketing if it was arranged properly. Also discovered the world of “inside sales”, and that I did okay with that, despite not really loving it. Moved to Del Cerro (East San Diego), and began sharing a townhouse with Jason and his coworker Chris.

2003 [June] Recycler San Diego was shut down, prompting me to take an actual telemarketing job. Discovered I absolutely loathe telemarketing.

2003 [July] Hired by Abacus America under Aplus.net. Welcome to the wonderful world of IT blended with web design, “inside sales”, and people who liked the fact that I played Diablo II. Discovered Starbucks and the addiction that comes along with it. Played well with most sales reps and still hated telemarketing. Accidentally ninja’d my way into the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club and found out that there are people who make a LOT more money than me. Went through a tough time at home, abruptly moved in with friends in Solana Beach (North San Diego). Let my cat stay at the home of someone who pretended not to be a crackhead.

2003 [August] Brak develops worms and loses a lot of fur. Moved him to Solana Beach and found out that veterinarians aren’t cheap.

2003 [September] My very first deep clean at the dentist, quadrant 1. Scheduled quadrants 2 through 4 are destined to never happen, ever; fear of dentists and they pain they inflict reaffirmed. No plans to be a bus driver, but still holding out hopes for the ‘artist’ position. Moved back to Del Cerro, with Jason (and our roommate: his coworker Chris). Purchased a ’96 Nissan 200SX and a cell phone, both solely in my name for the first time ever.

2003 [October] Went back to designing free websites for friends. Discovered I could market a hosting plan along with websites and managed to make a couple sales off the clock for my own pursuits. San Diego caught on fire.

2003 [December] Moved to Mission Beach (Coastal San Diego), this time with just Jason and a much happier Brak. Ended up living next door to one of my Aplus coworkers.

2004 [January] Stayed at Abacus, promoted to Sales Manager for Cedant and continued to work with all my current Aplus clients, but with the freedom of not having a manager. Helped start up LowFatHosting, wrote proposal to strengthen Cedant.

2004 [June] Lost my only team member at Cedant to a law school in Santa Barbara. Almost lost my mind stressing over upper management and some strange policies they had in place.

2004 [July] Moved to Internet Express down the street. Was essentially the same thing as Aplus, but at a much slower, more boring pace.

2004 [August] Rehired at Abacus, under DevStart. Enjoyed the work and new management immensely. Learned that the things I loved doing in my free time were under the ‘web promotion’ category, and learned how to flourish in sales and with client relationships. Found the world of business development and made a nice blend between that and a good company.

2004 [September] Wildly successful CEO 1 left to form his own version of DevStart, and succeeded. Continued to form solid friendship and great business relationship with current sales manager. Hired CEO 2 that knew how to be just as awesome as CEO 1 (and liked gaming too).

2004 [December] Sales manager left, and was replaced by a much less wonderful person (inconveniently also my next-door neighbor). Current commission was …redistributed, oddly enough in the favor of the new sales manager under principal of ‘seniority counts more than customers’.

2005 [January] Talks of an auto dialer were held. Talks of my leaving due to ludicrous thoughts of an auto dialer were also held.

2005 [February] Began bellydancing, and occasionally taking ballet as well. Discovered three classes a week will get you in great shape (if you’re not going to Starbucks every day).

2005 [March] An unexpected chat with the CEO allowed me to experience the interesting world of unemployment. Said very sad goodbyes to my second home at Aplus, and realized I would really miss working with aforementioned CEO because he was still awesome.  Began playing World of Warcraft as an undead warlock. Had thoughts of implementing the ‘immolation’ technique with certain people.

2005 [June] Found out the exact number of staffing agencies in San Diego versus the paperwork they make you do does not equal their success ratio. Began suffering from cabin fever, but started painting again. Also noticed my manic and depressive episodes were beginning to get out of control.

2005 [November] Took a position as “Floor Supervisor” at a bank that sent out tax refunds (similar to Jackson Hewitt). This involved working with CS reps who would hold up little red flags on Popsicle sticks, meaning I had to walk over and resolve their escalated (angry) call. This did not involve having my own desk… or chair. Perhaps one of my least favorite jobs ever.

2006 [February] Found out new management was at Abacus, somehow managed to get rehired under Aplus.net and also found out a lot of new sales techniques were in place. After a month with no sales, transferred to the ‘callers’ department and discovered that I still hated telemarketing from the depths of my being. Tried to get hired in the management or design department to no avail, thanks to outsourcing.

2006 [May] Hired on as a Junior Loan officer at Courtesy Mortgage. The novelty of working for a friend soon wore off – so did the friendship. Became very credit conscious and promptly went into debt. My car started to go into debt also, leaving me with the repair bill.

2006 [September] Begin what is now the DrunkBunny Collective (alias dB inc.), an art/media branch of Young Enterprises.

2006 [November] Talks of an auto dialer commenced, as did talks of my leaving sooner rather than later.

2006 [November] Installation of auto dialer ensued, along with the installation of my new job at Pindar Set (Yellow Book). The joy of a Production Artist with the freedom to just listen to your iPod and create ads is almost unmatched.

2006 [December] Informed by the staffing agency that I was one of their top artists and would be hired on fulltime. Began working (and enjoying) a 3:30pm-11:30pm shift. Began thoughts of taking morning dance classes.

2007 [January] My 26th birthday present was a second call from the staffing agency to inform that the office was closing.  Upon arriving at home, received a cute little solitaire diamond ring from Jason that may or may not have been an engagement ring, but he didn’t want to decide one way or the other at the time.

2007 [February] Reaffirmed my hatred for the inane process that passes for staffing agencies. Hard drive containing all music and three years worth of work crashes and cannot be saved. Spend two weeks in the worst bout of depression to date, contemplate giving up entirely on California. Occasionally leave bed to go on pointless interviews or to search for more ice cream.

2007 [March] Swept up by the prestigious Marina Village as a front desk girl / office wench. Kept the element of surprise as to what a gem they’d just received. (Yeah, I went there.)

2007 [August] Go back to visit Pennsylvania on a whirlwind week-long tour that involves a drive-by and various (non-related) drunken adventures.

2007 [November] Sold my Nissan and took the money as a downpayment for an ’03 Hyundai Elantra. Went to Disneyland for the first time. Sold THE ‘STANG, sighed with relief.

2008 [January] Start paying more attention to my health and flirt with ideas of vegetarianism. Discover the joys of visiting Wine Steals, and began the journey back to the art/design world.

2008 [March] Jason and I have a discussion on whether or not we’re actually engaged, and he says yes, we can update our MySpace statuses to ‘engaged’.  Because that’s how you know it’s really official.

2008 [April] Purchase a decent mountain bike, up biking levels to almost 20 miles per week. Begin doing yoga, taking random dance classes when funds allow.

2008 [July] Spend a lot of time partying after almost a year of being a hermit. Depression finally begins to lift, but occasionally spirals into a terrible relapse. Find that I am “good with people” and consider being an event coordinator in my spare time.

2008 [September] Leveled my Blood Elf warlock to 70, and my original Undead warlock to 70 soon after. Snagged two epic mounts, began PVPing, and bought Warhammer Online. Begin blogging more seriously, and hope to rebuild a successful side career that is a blend of all my talents.

2008 [October] Quit playing Warhammer Online. Screw that game.

2009 – BUY A FREAKIN’ HOUSE. Draw up plans to invent a giant artsy clock called “Eat This: Your Life Is Wasting Away” but …damn you John Taylor!

2010 – Funds too low for clock project; consider locating and helping to unveil teakettle thermostat guy’s clock project instead… damn you Stephen Hawking!

2020 – Watch the news, unironically.

2021 – Enjoy watching reruns of Sealab 2021, ironically in my giant underwater fortress.

2081 – Finally find the meaning of life: living it.

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